If I have never mentioned this before, let me tell you now – every person is real, but outside of my family, every name I use is a fake.
For the purposes of this story we are going to name our little girl, Grace.
One day last year I was helping in Declan’s classroom when the teacher decided the class would play a game.
All the students knew the game and began to jump up and down in excitement.
Grace was no different. She bounced, she smiled, she clapped.
And then she ran across the room to Declan, pulled his chair out and said, “Now remember, Declan. When the teacher says the HOT word sit down as fast as you can! Got it?”
When Declan gave a small nod, she ran back to her seat to bounce until the game began.
My heart melted. I adored Grace.
Thankfully our family connected with Grace’s family on other levels as well. Our older kids connected and played on a lot of the same sports teams. Which was awesome – Declan got to see a lot of Grace!
I have watched Grace play with Declan. I have watched her explain other children’s behavior to Declan and to let him know, “Everything is okay. They are our friends.”
When Declan felt he was unlikeable this year, it was Grace I asked the teacher to direct him to on the playground. Most days he can find her on his own now – and he has a good time playing tag with her.
This year our families connected to go Trick or Treating together. Declan was thrilled. A night of fun with his Grace!
The children were adorable. They went to each house together. Never have I ever watched Trick or Treating children stop to admire each house’s decorations before they stopped for candy. But these two did! Every light, every DETAIL! They would discuss what they saw and if they found it “scary” or not.
It was so very cute.
All our children wrapped up their evening of Trick or Treating and went back to the house to look over all their spoils.
Candy was being torn into. Candy bars were flying through the air in even trades. In a gale of laughter, a game of “Duck, Duck, Goose” broke out.
I watched Declan. I watched him get agitated at all the yucky chocolate bars he got. I watched him eat a jolly rancher with delight. I watched him shake his head back and forth with a smile when the game broke out. I saw the tears when he found there was no gum in his bag.
“Declan,” I leaned over him and said, “Ten more minutes. It is time to wrap up.”
“GOOSE!” someone yelled, tapping the person next to Declan on the shoulder.
The chase went underway. I watched Declan laugh at the chase, I watched him run.
I was watching him get overstimulated.
The excitement of the evening, of the candy, of the game – the room was aglow with children’s smiles, laughter and excitement.
The excitement was bound to erupt. And with all the joy her little body could muster, Grace let out the shrillest shriek sending all our hands to cover our ears.
Declan screamed and immediately grabbed her in a tight bear hug. He picked her up and quickly shook her to the right and to the left before putting her down.
Once dropped, Grace ran to the comfort of her sister’s arms and began to cry. Declan squeezed his eyes shut and ran in the other room.
“She scared me. She screamed in my ear!” he cried.
Declan was calmed. My husband and her father were with Grace to comfort her and make sure she was okay.
“It’s okay,” Grace said, “I know he didn’t mean it.”
Declan was able to apologize, knowing he is not to hurt or touch his friends.
And we left, being assured all was fine.
But would Grace be afraid of Declan still? Would she still be the same supportive friend that he (and I) have come to love in his life?
Twenty-four hours of concern plagued me before I found the answer.
“What did you do on the playground at school today?”
“I played tag and then hide and seek with Grace. It was a lot of fun.”
Praise the Lord.
I have always felt saddened when Declan has hurt another child. There have been reasons, sure. Sensory seeking, lack of speech, frustration. Once he pushed too hard in a friendly game of tag.
Grace has been such a wonderful friend to Declan. Her kindness, support, understanding and acceptance – Grace is nothing short of amazing. Seeing her hurt and cry was heartbreaking.
But true to her name, she is the best. She forgave and forgot, ready to play again.
Grace is a true blessing in Declan’s life!
I’m so pleased, she sounds so good for Declan.
I remember our Paediatrician telling us that one thing that parents with kids on the spectrum have to remember is that virtually every kid will at some stage do something rough or hurt another kid – its not just their kids. The difference is that with autistic kids it’s often reported more and actually there is normally a really valid reason for them doing it.
I remember getting a call from Nursery that our son was involved in a biting incident. I was so relieved when I found out it was our son who had been bitten. That’s a really caring parent for you.
She is the best.
I agree with your Paediatrician – kids do,. Declan was more aggressive than my others but there was a reason. That little guy Declan was playing tag with and pushed too hard ended up in the emergency room. Even though it was an accident, he was “too busy” to play anymore. I took notice. I was so afraid it was going to happen again. Thankfully, it didn’t – yay!
I know what you mean – we got an email from Catelyn’s teacher last year and I expected to hear what Catelyn did wrong. Instead it was how she was wronged – I was so relieved! 🙂
Warms my heart, she is a blessing! We need more Graces.
I agree – she is the best!
Indeed! 🙏🏽
This is so touching. I hope he has a Grace in his life for always, even if this one can’t always be there.
Thank you so much!
She sounds like an amazing kid and the perfect friend for Declan!
She is the sweetest thing ever – just an angel! Thank you!
I have seen those little girls–almost mothers from the start. Then there are others… we don’t want to remember.
Yes, this little girls is just so sweet 🙂
I agree, my oldest daughter has shown so many signs like those, so loving, so compassionate.
What a wonderful read!
My son was diagnosed with Autism about 3 years ago now. He also has a ‘Grace’ in his life. She’s been in the same grade as he since PreK, they are now in the 3rd grade. It was the second day of 2nd grade, my son was still a ball of nervous, and the school staff was calling for parents to leave. When she came and grabbed his hand and told us, ‘don’t worry, I’ll take him to class, I know how he is.’ When he fractured his arm at the playground in first grade, he wore a cast and everyday, at dismissal time, she’d come out carrying his backpack for him and hold his ‘good arm,’ it was the sweetest thing to see.
There was a brief moment where my heart sank. My son in the beginning of this school year came home to say ‘his Grace’ wasn’t there. The days and weeks went by and no Grace. We later learned she had moved schools. We spoke about her one dinner at home and remembered how sweet she was to him and how much we’d all miss her. But to our disbelief, a few weeks ago, he came home so excited, ‘his Grace’ had returned to the school and was in HIS class! She’s left briefly to another school and came back! Oh my heart sang! At the harvest festival this year – Halloween parade, they older grades give the younger grades candy, I passed by his classroom and there my son was with ‘his Grace,’ I also noticed he was sitting on the floor while Grace sat next to him, on a chair. 😍 That’s just who he is with her.
God bless these ‘Gracie’ girls for being the blessing our boys need in their lives.
There no judgment, no anything, just pure love and friendship. 🙏🏽
What a wonderful story!! She sounds AMAZING – I am so glad she has returned to your son’s life! So touching! 🙂
Yes, she truly is, these girls are a blessing. 😊 We are too, he came home elated telling me she was back. 😊🙌🏽