Decorating our Christmas tree is always a walk down memory lane for me. I love to pull out the ornaments and be reminded of years passed.
I love to see the ones the kids have made through the years at school or in daycare. I love to see the ones with years on them as we collect more years together as a family.
I enjoy seeing the ones of my children as babies.
Declan smiling!
Catelyn at the pumpkin patch –
And little blond Bobby –
And this year, I shook my head as I pulled one out and looked at it.
“Wow….remember that? Everything makes a lot more sense now.”
It really is a silly ornament. A picture of a Honey Badger with a Santa hat on next to a present.
It took us a while to find this ornament. But it was bought on purpose.
To hold Declan as a baby – well – it hurt!
You would lean in to coo with him. A little baby hand would reach up, waver to the left and then to the right. Eventually it would find direction and force and land on its target. Maybe your cheek, or your nose – something squishy. And the hand would squeeze with all its little might.
You would screech and work to get the hand dislodged from your face. Then travel to the nearest mirror to see what scratch was now present.
You’d turn back to the little helpless baby with a perplexed look and say one thing –
“OUCH!”
You learned to sit with Declan facing out. Carry Declan facing out. Always keep his nails trimmed.
Because if he saw your face the little hand would raise and mightily try to land on its favorite squishy target.
Not deterred by being removed from your face, he would find your other fleshy parts to squeeze. For years his favorite target was the skin the bunched up at your elbow when your arm was down.
He would bite, he would squish, he would bang himself against you.
We created a joke about it and began calling Declan our beloved little Honey Badger.
We got him a Honey Badger onesie. To giggle about his painful love. How much you got hurt trying to hug him.
And we bought the ornament.
I don’t have the onesie anymore. Truth is, I forgot about it. I forgot about Honey Badger Declan completely until I unwrapped the ornament to place it on the tree.
But the ornament reminded me – Declan was our little Honey Badger! If you got too close to him you were liable to walk away with a scratch, a bite mark or a bruise. We laughed about it as it was unique. Never had we experienced such pain in loving a baby!
Now it all makes more sense. I didn’t know anything about sensory issues then, yet when I look back, I was surrounded by sensory issues – in ALL THREE of my kids.
My other two weren’t Honey Badgers – but I am now keenly aware of all their sensory seeking and sensory avoiding behaviors as babies, toddlers and children.
I am happy we got this ornament. It was and is a funny way to memorialize Declan’s painful love as a baby.
And it’s also a piece to remind me of the sensory issues that were present before I even knew what sensory issues were!
I love the photographs. I love the way you talk about each one. The love you feel comes across so strong( as does the inflicted pain). I’m looking now at one decoration with 2010 on it, so many memories. We didn’t have to face our son out, but we did have to watch spoons. They are great weapons in the hand of a toddler. One of the decorations has a photograph of his nursery class at Christmas. Never really thought about it until I read this, but all the kids are stood together except our son who is stood a few feet away from the group. It was a time before I had any idea what autism was.
Yes, same! I didn’t even know what I was seeing because I didn’t know what autism was. We were just trying to find the humor of it all, because he certainly wasn’t trying to be hurtful – I see now the sensory input was probably soothing to him!
I was an adult before I found out about sensory-seeking and avoiding behaviours for myself. I don’t mean my family ever gave me a hard time about them, but they were seen as quirks rather than something with a reason behind them. It’s great that your kids have someone who gets it and can help them understand 🙂
And the ornament collection is cool too!
Right! I agree – even though Declan could hurt you when you went to hug him, he was trying to be hurtful. I see now that the sensory input was probably soothing to him. At the time, we just found a way to laugh about it. 🙂 Thank you!
Oh those photos are wonderful. Those little faces! Just yesterday I remembered that somewhere in the Xmas decoration boxes I have one of my son and me when he was a year old. I’ve made a not to remind me to look for it next Christmas and get it up on the tree!
I love the picture ornaments – they are such wonderful memories of our babies! 🙂 Thanks Anne!