Celebrating Siblings on the Autism Spectrum

I could hear the screaming from upstairs.

Screaming is common in our house.  It is Declan’s response when he is frustrated.  My eyebrows piqued however when I heard things being thrown.

I stood up to investigate as Bobby came bounding up the basement stairs.

“What’s happening?” I asked as Bobby ran past me covering his eyes.

“He lost in his video game and I couldn’t win for him, so he was getting mad – at me and the game,” Bobby responded.

“Are you okay?” I wondered as Bobby’s hands continued to rub his forehead and his eyes.

“Yeah,” he sighed and brought his arm down, “He scratched me here and threw the controller at me, but I am okay.”

I looked at the fresh scratch marks on Bobby’s arm and then looked to his face.  I saw he was crying, a rarity for Bobby.

“I just need a break.  Is it okay if I take a Declan break right now?”  Bobby asked.  And as I agreed, Bobby bounded up the stairs to find respite in his room.

As I went to talk with Declan, I thought how much time Bobby had been spending with Declan.  Bobby watching Declan zoom up and down the street on his scooter while Bobby shot hoops.  Bobby taking Declan to pick out a special snack at the store while I got the bulk of the shopping done uninterrupted.  Bobby taking Declan to the bathroom on the same shopping trip.  And after youth group, Bobby agreed to play Declan’s video game with him.

None of those trips are ever easy.  All are loaded with transitions that Declan has a hard time with.  Getting into and then out of the is always challenging – from the store or home.

And those are just a handful of the transitions that one would never even think about.  For Declan, these shift in gears are hard and involve an immediate negative response which I realize WE ALL work to help him with.

I knew I was getting ready to head out-of-town for a girl’s running weekend and was very conscious at home to give Bobby more free time.  I know what it feels like to be burnt out and it wasn’t fair to Bobby to feel that way as a kid himself.

The time came and with lots of hugs and smiles, I left, headed to Washington D.C. for the Cherry Blossom 10 miler.

I was asked to join a running group where I knew a couple of the runners.  I met new people, perused the Nation’s capital and enjoyed all the cherry blossoms on a nice 10-mile run.

On the way home us girls talked about our runs, the weekend, and flipped through our pictures.

And then my phone dinged with a new text message.

And when I saw THIS picture, I gave a great big smile.

At his haircut, Bobby decided to have the autism puzzle piece shaved into the side of his head.

His point?  “Ask me about my hair and I will tell you about two awesome people I love on the autism spectrum.”

There are a thousand happy moments parenting a child with autism.  There are some uniquely hard moments too.

Bobby has discovered the same being a brother to his siblings on the autism spectrum.

And it’s moments like this where I enjoy seeing Bobby celebrate his siblings on the autism spectrum that make me really proud.