“Give him to me for a week, I’ll fix him.”
“He looks fine to me.”
“I don’t see it.”
“He doesn’t look autistic.”
“That doesn’t mean anything. MY kids did that.”
“Autism isn’t real. The kids are the way they are because of bad parenting.”
“You think that’s hard, listen to THIS…”
“It’s not about you, MOM!”
Honestly, I think I could keep going and going, listing all the crazy things people have said to me throughout the years after Declan and then Catelyn were diagnosed with autism. Let alone the looks I would get in public.
These are all statements I have heard, more than half I have written about. Whenever I heard one of these statements, it was easy for me to put the speaker in a new category: NOT in my tribe of supporters.
When I read Debbie Frick’s book, “Conversations About Autism” I felt connected and reassured. All the mean statements, all the coated “supportive” statements I heard were being reiterated by other parents. I wasn’t alone!
Then today, another blogger’s post caught my attention. And boy, could I relate.
The blogger of Tumble into Love expressed in her post today the frustration she has felt as a special needs parent from shame, judgment or insensitivity from others. To help cope with her feelings of frustration, she pokes fun of different types of characters and their methods to shame or judge special needs parents.
The post is a fun post and is VERY relatable. Check it out when you get a chance!
Here’s the post – make sure you give it a read!
Everybody Must get Stoned: Criticism of Special Needs Parents.
Great find Robyn! I’m a new follower😉 That post is great. 😍💃
I’m glad you liked it and gave her a follow – I really enjoy reading her posts! Especially this one 🙂
So true! All the times I’ve heard these remarks & then the criticism I receive when they find out I want my daughter to be evaluated too… 🤦🏻♀️
Ooooh, yeah – Glad you could relate to the post!
It is a good one. I bet we could write a book on the comments and so called helpful advice tips.
Oh my gosh, yeah! After I wrote the ones off the top of my head I started remembering a whole new litany of statements. Never ending and totally able to fill a book.
I know these people. I’ve been dealing with them for 14 years but without a diagnosis to point to. Oops, am I being the one-upper?
No one upping that I can see. Not having the diagnosis but facing the criticism and judgement – yuck!
Thanks so very much Robyn! Glad you enjoyed the article [but sad that we (and many others) have this as a common ground.]
It was really great. I felt AWFUL when I first faced the judgement and criticism. When I realized this was something others were going through too, I had my people 🙂 THAT was really special.
Goodness Robyn, what a great find! Talk about hitting the nail on the head. I’ve come across and had to deal with all these types – the deniers drive me round the twist. Posts like this really do help, though, and I’m all for a bit of sarcasm and humour. Way to go! 🙂
Thanks Alli! I agree – tackling this frustration with humor was perfect. Made me smile AND feel connected with the blogger! 🙂
Me too! That’s the spirit… 😀
You may never be done reposting these kinds of posts but at least you’re making others feel more seen and more connected.
That’s true! That’s how I felt when I read it the first time. “She understands!” Great to find those connections and share them with others.