Discipline and High Functioning Autism

“You can talk to her about her behavior when you come home, but her behavior was against me.  I will handle the discipline.”

“Okay.  How are you going to discipline her?”

“I immediately sent her to her room for a break.  Then I told her that we are not going to go get special treats from the store.  I also told her that she is not allowed to watch TV tonight and she will need to stay in her room.”

“Seems a little light to me.  I think we need to take her device as well.”

“She uses sound to fall asleep.  If she doesn’t have sound she will not sleep and then we will all have a bad day tomorrow.”

“But if we do not take the device then she will just watch TV on it in her room.  So, she would be getting TV time.”

“Fine, we will take the device and let her listen to music on her phone since she doesn’t have any other apps on it.”

“Okay.  Sounds good.”

Discipline and High Functioning Autism

Catelyn made some bad choices at home, and my husband and I were emailing each other trying to work out how we were going to handle the situation.  We eventually arrived at what we felt was a fair response.

Disciplining Catelyn has always been a challenge.

Not much bothers her when it comes to being sent to time out.  Or to her room.  She likes those things.

Her mind is so fantastical, I could empty her room of her toys and send her there.  Only to find her a half hour later acting out a play she created.  With her shoes.

Was she learning anything?

I thought it was very fortuitous (fun fact – my favorite word) that today as I was going through my different news feeds I came across this article:   Altered Disciplinary Methods for High-Functioning Autistic Children

And read some interesting information about our preferred way to gain positive behavior.

In my last post, Keep Your Hands to Yourself! Time for a Fidget Toy I mentioned that Bobby was learning to correct the behavior of touching his classmates, and although he stopped himself from hugging a friend, he was told that since he thought about hugging, he was to go to the principal’s office.

Here’s the thing.  Bobby never made it to the principal’s office.  He was so upset with himself that he started crying and punching himself in the face, calling himself a stupid bad boy.  The other students were escorted out to their destination and the guidance counselor was called to the room to calm Bobby and talk with him.  Then he had to have regular meetings with the guidance counselor.

I felt awful for Bobby. And of course, I was mad.

I was mad at the response.  And I was mad that no one told me his touching and hugging had reached “being sent to the principal’s office” level.

And in the numerous calls and emails that followed I reiterated how at home, we rewarded Bobby for getting through a day free of an unwanted behavior – not by only disciplining him when the behavior occurred.  That was how he learned best.

The article reiterates this same idea.

Reward or reinforce positive behavior, and avoid using only discipline to extinguish negative behavior.

Why?  According to the author:  These specific (rewards) privileges are often offered because HFA kids respond less to human contact – or even human praise – and more to the presence or absence of “things.”

Bobby does not have autism.  He liked rewards and praise – and he learned.  This concept works for all kids.

Catelyn does have HFA.  She also has success working towards rewards.  Especially when a very concrete and very preferred reward was up for grabs.  And when I read the article, it made a lot of sense.

Not all forms of discipline work when trying to correct a behavior with Cate.  They don’t bother her.  But when trying to work towards a reward, we are reinforcing a preferred behavior.

It’s a win, win for everyone!