Good vs. Bad
“Declan, please put your Spiderman mask on! Other people have on masks – it is okay…”
“NO! I can’t break the rules….can’t break the rules…..can’t break the rules….”
My husband and I look over Declan at each other, hoping that something we say breaks the rigid line between his perceived “Good vs Bad” in his head.
We were at the kid’s school for the Halloween Party. We had the kids dress in their costumes, and followed the rules on the flier that came home – no masks, no weapons. We told Declan he could go as Spiderman, but he couldn’t wear his mask. And after many tears, he agreed.
When we first arrived at the school, we saw there were masks on children everywhere.
My husband and I felt such relief at seeing the masks and handed Declan his. We were surprised to hear him say,
“No. No masks.”
We tried convincing him, but Declan had the rules in stone in his head.
There were other Spiderman costumes at the party, all wearing their masks. Declan saw them all and would relate,
“He’s a better Spiderman than me.”
And as much as I tried to tell Declan he could don his mask. That it was good. It was okay. There were no rules anymore, all I heard in response was:
“Can’t break the rules,
Can’t break the rules,
Can’t break the rules….”
Right vs. Wrong
One day I walked Declan to his afternoon Kindergarten class. We reached the corner of the school by the Kindergarten doors and stopped.
I took off Declan’s back pack and placed the pack on Declan’s back.
I started to say my goodbyes, but stopped when I heard screaming.
Declan and I looked up to see a child had taken another child’s hat and began to run around with it. The now hatless child began to chase the hat thief. Not finding success, he began to cry.
I am the anomaly parent. At Kindergarten drop off, parents are not supposed to leave their cars as they pull up to the curb of the school in the bus lane. The cars closest to the Kindergarten doors allow their children to get out of their cars and play. As I walk Declan to school, I am the only parent not in a car and therefore, the first parent to respond to the situation.
Yet, I wasn’t. As the little boy cried for his hat back, Declan tore off away from me. He reached the hat thief and grabbed the hat from his hands. He yelled at the hat thief and swiped him with the hat. I don’t know what he said, but judging by his facial muscles, it probably wasn’t very nice.
Declan brought the hat back to the boy who was crying and gave it back. He put his arm around the boy until the boy stopped crying and put his hat back on.
Declan and the boy began to run around. Seconds later the Kindergarten doors opened. Both ran inside to stand in their classroom lines. I walked home.
It’s That Time
Declan doesn’t always get his ground rules right when it comes to determining what is good and what is right. Or when it is okay to bend a little. He is a concrete thinker and lives in a black and white world.
I see where he has made his general rules from. Superheroes do good, they do what is right. Yet they still hit and punch the bad guys.
Declan’s “bad guy” is not someone who has robbed a bank or tried to take over the world.
But Declan has a good basis.
The above events came to my mind today when Declan leaned over from his YouTube video and asked me,
“Do you think I made the good list?”
I smiled and replied, “Yes Declan, I am sure Santa has you on the good list.”
He leaned back into his computer screen and started,
“I made the good list.
I make good choices,
I make GOOD choices….”