What a Journey!

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“What did we do to deserve this,” I sobbed as I scrubbed at another episode of smearing in the carpet.

I was abruptly taken from my moment of self-pity when I heard a crash.

I came running downstairs into the kitchen.  Declan quickly jumped off the stove and ran.  There were snacks dumped all over the floor from the cupboard above the stove.

In obtaining the snacks, he had pulled the stove hood down, and it swayed by a wire from the commotion.

Each step I took I crunched on chips and pretzels.  I walked closer to observe the stove hood damage.

When I reached my goal, I couldn’t even see.  My eyes had welled up and I let my head sink to my hands for mighty sobs.

I had so much to clean up and try to repair.  But where was Declan?  If I didn’t find him quickly, I would have another disaster on my hands.

“No one understands what we go through…..”  I thought.  Which always led to,

“Will this chaos ever end?!”

 

Declan never slept, so I never slept.  Declan was too much to handle in the community.  If we went anywhere it took 2 people on constant vigilance.  The safest place for him was locked in our autism proofed house.

We were isolated.  We were alone.

And I was losing my mind.

 

I don’t know how I survived those years.  I cried every day.  Fully sleep deprived and on constant vigilance.

I tried to explain to my husband – if he got frustrated at work he could get up, go walk around, go talk to a co-worker.  Maybe he would go down to the café and get a drink.

I had no breaks.  I was trying my best to stay one step ahead of Declan, but most of the time, cleaning up messes and always steps behind.

And nothing hurt more than, while living in the world I was living, having an unsupportive friend or relative roll their eyes at autism and/or make a minimizing statement like, “he’s fine.”

Thankfully, Declan got involved in a supportive learning environment.  And he has grown so, so much.  I am truly amazed and feel blessed.

I look back at those very bad years and shudder.  I would never wish any of those hard days on anyone.

As things slowly got better, I found my voice.  And found I spoke better with my written words.

My Blogging Anniversary!

Last week I was notified that I have been blogging for one year.

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One year ago, I made the decision to turn to the blogging community to share my story.

My story is an autism story.  And I have met a lot of wonderful autism families out there walking the same path.  I love the understanding, support and sharing we provide each other.

I love sharing in another blogger’s journey’s.  The story they came to the blogging world to share.

And I love the bloggers who blog beautiful art.  In words and pictures.

 

I am very thankful for all who stop by to read.  I enjoy writing our autism story.  In informational pieces as well as family stories. And I thank you for sharing in our autism journey.

When I look back through this years posts, a few favorites stand out I would like to share again.

About High-Functioning Autism:

The Challenges of High Functioning Autism

Emotional Regulation and High Functioning Autism

A couple of older Declan stories that I still love to read:

Seeing Things for the First Time

In His Time

A post I plan to expand at a later date that holds a lot of interest:

Introversion Vs. Autism

About the autism family and one great brother:

A Brother’s Keeper

And of course:

All the Other Moms

He Doesn’t Look Autistic

Being Wrong Never Felt so Good – A story about a couple of boys surprised me at a playground with their inclusive water bottle flip game

 

Thank you so much for reading.  I plan to pursue this blog for another year and look forward to sharing more of our autism story!

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29 thoughts on “What a Journey!

  1. Congratulations on the blogging anniversary! Thank you for writing your stories and providing a huge set of information.

    I have read one of your old posts published last year today titled “Introversion Vs. Autism”. Great post. Have a wonderful day.

    1. Thank you for reading! Great! Thanks! I read your post yesterday about Introversion. I could easily relate 🙂

  2. Please DO NOT EVER STOP BLOGGING! It is a way to connect with other people. You have helped so many people in the past year of your writings… Who could they turn to if you stop your work?

    There are many people out there who’s child is suffering the same way your kids did. They NEED your help! If nothing else, it is a chronicle of your kid’s lives. Some people are into scrap booking, but I think writing is a more heart felt way of keeping track of their lives aventures!

    Keep your writings up!

    1. Thank you so much, Jeanette! You have been so supportive of me this whole first year. I appreciate your feedback so much! Thank you!

  3. Spiderman Declan’s​ son’s birthday & blog anniversary? Your house is full of joyful celebrations! 🎉 I remember that awful hopeless, lost feeling. It still pops up occasionally. It is wonderful to have the support of others that know what you’re feeling & are there to help during the rough spots & cheer for the successes❣ I look forward to sharing the ups & downs of your wonderful family & it’s super awesome blogging mom💝

    1. Haha! Yes! It was hard writing that first part. Going back to those really awful days. They do pop up every now and again, but back then it was every day – with no end in site. So glad to have met you! I love reading your stories and your stories about King Ben as well! Here’s to another year! 🙂

  4. Thanks for constantly sharing your life with us at Special Needs Essentials! I get excited checking my emails to find your next post. So with that being said, happy BlOG-iversary and like Jeanette said DO NOT EVER STOP BLOGGING!!

  5. Congratulations on your anniversary and on those little steps to different successes, everyday!
    Those trials and tribulations, full of tests to make people stronger so that they can discover new abilities in themselves and others😉Keep up the awesome work you are doing! One day one of your children (readers’ children surprise them) are going to surprise you in a good way and then it all becomes worth it.

  6. Happy One Year Blogging Anniversary! You have opened the eyes of so many to what is attainable and can be accomplished by sharing your own personal experiences through heartache and humor. I hope you continue spreading awareness through your stories.

  7. I’m glad that your started this blog and please keep going I am always interested in your posts and I have to say frequently very moved. I have told a lot of my friends about your blog and about your experiences with autism. So you are getting the word out there. Keep on blogging please.

      1. You are most welcome. There is not one I have told about you and your family who has not been impressed and also sympathetic. I shall keep on sharing your stories.

  8. Congratulations on both your anniversary and the incredible parenting job you are doing. My hat goes off to you and all the other awesome Mums who are dealing with autism. Isn’t technology awesome that it can connect you with others world wide and brighten your hardest days? Happily it sounds like the darkest days are in the past. 😘🐻

    1. Thank you! Technology is great – it helped connect me with a lot of awesome people. If hard days come, I know I have a wonderful group of bloggers to come to for some support. So wonderful! 🙂

  9. Congratulations Robyn for the courage to share with us your story for the past year. You are really doing great. Children as they are drive us parents to our limits, all the more challenging when there’s a health issue involved. You are a true inspiration to us all. God bless you and God bless your family. 💝💝

  10. Love the reality of your sharing. Parenting is never easy, but it can also be emotionally traumatizing for those of us with special needs children. I’m glad you found an outlet. That’s even more important for the additional challenges we face!

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