All the Other Moms

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“Oh my gosh, look!  It’s baseball!  Is that Bobby down there?  Go Bobby!!”

I smiled and laughed for a second.

“Those are the Philadelphia Phillies down there, Declan!” I said, pointing to the baseball field below.  “We are at a Phillies baseball game!”

“I see Bobby!  Gooooooo Bobby!!!”

 

All the Other Moms

 

“Mom, our school is having family bingo night this Friday.  Can we go?”

“Mom, can you come to my practice and be one of the helpers?  It would be so fun to see you there.  All the other moms do it.”

“Mom, the book fair is tonight, can we go look at books?  All my friends will be there.”

“It’s Lego night at the library.  Can we go?”

“Mom, will you come to my class party?  All the other moms are there.”

 

Or, when it is a sports season, and I look the other way when a team mom is requested to organize team functions.  When it is baseball season and I do not sign up for mandatory snack stand duty.  When pictures of my kid’s parties at school float to the internet and I am not there.

It’s been awhile since my kids have asked me to do something “all the other moms” do.  They realize our family has different needs.  They realize there are some situations that Declan would have a hard time in.

But there are times when I wonder if my kids are missing me in their lives.  Missing me in the places that “all the other moms” are in.

My kids and I recognize that I can’t do what “all the other moms” do.

But here is what I can do.

I am not the team mom that keeps the kids on the bench in between plays.

I AM the mom yelling from the sidelines at the top of my lungs.  Telling the team how awesome they are.

I am not the mom at the school parties.

I AM the mom that sits down with my kids to look at the pictures that hit the internet to hear about their school party and learn about their friends at school.

I am not the mom that helps at the practices.

I AM the mom at practices, watching and motivating when I can

Our family dynamic is a little different.  Declan requires a lot more attention and I spend a lot of time with him.

But I want to be a part of all my kids lives – so I WILL be a part of their lives.  I may not be in the places that “all the other moms” are in, but I will be in the corners, the sidelines, the outfields, the hallways – cheering them on, waving to them and showing them my smiling face of pride in all their accomplishments and attempts.

What else have I learned?  I am not the only one watching.  Declan is watching too.  Does he want to be a professional baseball player when he grows up?  I don’t think he knows what that is.  But he DOES know who Bobby is, and he would love to do what Bobby does when he grows up.

 

I am sure there are other moms like me, that for one reason or another, are not able to be at their kids events.  We do our best to do what we can.

For me, Declan and I will go and we will play – while I watch, give two thumbs up, cheer, wave and smile.  And Declan watches to see his favorite people do amazing things.

20 thoughts on “All the Other Moms

  1. I hope you hold this thought close to you in all those moments you mentioned above or just when you are tired or frustrated. Thank you for the reminder that just because I may not be able to do “what other mom’s do”, my kids will follow the example I do set. Thank you for sharing.

  2. I agree with the above comment. Remember your strengths. You are an amazing mom and “all the other moms” would have a difficult time doing all the things you do supporting your children’ s accomplishments on so many levels.

  3. All the “other moms” do not have extrodianary children to take care of. You were given the best child, so your job is to see he makes the biggest impact on the world at large! Let the other people deal with their boring lives, while you enjoy each new day with your son as the gift it is.

  4. Different Moms with different commitments doing different jobs is the best way for a community to work. When my older autistic daughters couldn’t cope with school any more they were welcomed to come and volunteer with me at their sisters’ school, something I then had time to do. Because of my agoraphobia and autism my strengths & weaknesses are very different & our parent volunteer group at the school have persisted in working with me to support my and my older girls continued involvement.
    Don’t ever feel guilty but possibly one day Declan & you together might find a role that builds him up. 🙂

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